Healthy vs Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Katie Cunneen
Pregnancy can be a particularly stressful time in your life with unwanted thoughts and emotions. It’s natural to use coping mechanisms during times of great stress, however, choosing unhealthy strategies can cause more harm than good.
It’s important to be able to identify the type of coping mechanism you are using and replace it with a healthy one when is the case.
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Unhealthy coping are maladaptive responses and often leads to a cycle of increasing distress [1]. Unhealthy coping mechanisms involve behaviours that provide only short-term relief but usually exacerbate distress in the long-term.
These types of strategies often impede emotional processing, worsen our stress, and hinder effective problem-solving. This is often why unhealthy coping mechanisms can lead to cycles of negative emotions, decreased self-esteem, ill health, and even physical harm [2].
1. Avoidance and denial
This can often involve ignoring or supressing distressing emotions or situations, and such mechanisms hinder our emotional processing and contribute to heightened stress and anxiety [2]. If we avoid tackling or even try to deny the existence of our problems, we cannot resolve them. This mechanism, therefore, hinders emotional growth.
2. Negative self-talk
This mechanism involves excessively criticising or putting yourself down and is linked to reduced self-esteem and heightened depression [2].
The reinforcement of such negative self-assumptions can perpetuate and magnify distress, and is a cognitive distortion, which are thoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately [3].
3. Isolation
Isolation or withdrawing from social interactions is a detrimental choice of coping mechanism because it can lead to mental health and well-being issues. When we decide to cut ties with our peers, we deprive ourselves of revitalising human interactions and nourishing relationships. Isolating ourselves significantly narrows our opportunities for healing and growing [2].
4. Excessive screen time
Often, we use excessive screen time to numb unpleasant feelings and thoughts or to avoid doing challenging tasks. What counts as excessive screen time is difficult to generalise and is unique to each person, not to mention screens can provide platforms for meaningful social interactions. This only becomes problematic if we become ‘addicted’, where we cannot cope with our daily tasks and neglect our real-life relationships and self-care [2].
Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Healthy coping mechanisms are designed to foster resilience [4]. It promotes emotional regulation, enhances problem-solving skills, and cultivates a sense of self-efficacy and learning and therefore contributes to our long-term well-being [2],[5].
1. Self-care
Drinking the tea you like, pampering yourself with nice lotions, and engaging in skin, hair, and nail care can all help deescalate stress and give you an opportunity to relax.
2. Engage in hobbies
Doing something you enjoy can take your mind away briefly from the stressful event until you are able to face it head-on.
3. Engaging in mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you de-stress in the moment before you become too overwhelmed. For mindfulness tips see “Using Mindfulness to Help with Mood Swings: Harmonising Emotions”, which is recommended below.
4. Ask for support
Not only can talking to someone help release pent-up emotions, but it can also help provide a solution to your problem through alternative perspectives [6].
5. Creating a to-do-list
When feeling overwhelmed with tasks making a to-do-list can help prioritise our time and focus effectively, allowing you to become more productive and reduce the stress of that nagging feeling that you’ve forgotten to do something [7].
6. Establishing healthy boundaries
It’s ok to say no sometimes and to set boundaries around yourself. Effective communication is required to do this, and you can follow strategies such as DEAR MAN. For more on DEAR MAN and effective communication see “Establishing Boundaries for Self-Care: Managing 1st Trimester Symptoms with Confidence”, which is recommended below.
Distinguishing Between Healthy and Unhealthy Coping
To distinguish between healthy and unhealthy coping you need to focus on 5 things [8]:
What is the effectiveness of the coping mechanism?
Healthy coping is usually effective at dealing and addressing with the root cause of the stress, providing genuine relief, helping to navigate challenges and promote well-being. Unhealthy coping may only provide temporary relief or a distraction but will fail to address the underlying issues.
What is the impact of you coping mechanism on your well-being?
Healthy coping contributes to improved mental and emotional health by promoting resilience, reducing stress levels, and enhancing your overall sense of well-being. Unhealthy coping, on the other hand, may lead to negative consequences such as increased distress, impaired physical health, strained relationships and worsened mental health.
Does your coping mechanism address the underlying cause of the distress?
Healthy coping involves facing and processing difficult emotions, actively seeking resolutions to your problems, and involve working towards personal growth. Conversely, unhealthy coping tends to merely avoid or suppress the underlying issues, providing only temporary relief without addressing the root causes. This avoidance also prevents you from finding successful and sustainable solutions which can perpetuate a cycle of distress.
What are the long-term consequences of your coping mechanism?
Healthy coping promotes personal growth and resilience, and improves relationships. This, therefore, empowers you to face your challenges and develop effective long-term problem-solving skills. Unhealthy coping often leads to negative consequences (such as missed deadlines through procrastinating) and hinders personal development.
What are your emotions telling you?
Trust your instincts and listen to your emotions. How do your coping mechanisms make you feel? Healthy mechanisms generally bring a sense of empowerment and overall improved emotional well-being whereas unhealthy mechanisms provide only temporary relief but leave you feeling empty and maybe even guilty.
Everyone from time to time engages in unhealthy coping, such as avoidance or negative self-talk.
The key is to recognise and distinguish between these unhealthy and healthy coping mechanisms so that in the future you can improve your engagement with the healthier mechanisms. These healthier mechanisms lead to improved mental well-being, empowerment, and better problem-solving skills.