5 Things We can Do to Challenge our Thoughts

This is not about trying relentlessly to think positive. It’s more about recognising that our thoughts change dependent on lots of factors- past experiences, mood, hunger- and shouldn’t be allowed to run the show unchecked as they make a big difference to our feelings and behaviours.

1. Notice thoughts as thoughts, not facts

This moment of awareness is powerful. It introduces a crack of doubt, a chance to disentangle, to respond or act wisely rather than automatically and unconsciously.

2. Beware thinking traps**, our thinking can become quite biased.

If we’re tired, anxious, low this is even more likely. We all have a tendency to catastrophise, take things personally, assume we know what others are thinking, discount positives and to see things in a black and white way. We also jump to conclusions, and struggle with emotional reasoning, for example: ‘I feel anxious therefore things must be unsafe for me’.

3. What would I say to a friend in this situation?

The golden compassion question. It’s so much easier to access compassion for a loved one than for ourselves. Maybe something like – ‘love that’s such a tough day you’re having, I’m really sorry it’s so hard at the moment, I think you’re amazing.’ This probably wouldn’t have been the first thing you said to yourself. We often talk to ourselves in ways that we wouldn’t speak to our worst enemies. Reframing the problem as if it belonged to a loved one, and considering our response can be enlightening.

4. What are the pros and cons of me thinking this way?

List them out. Sometimes this makes it very clear that this thought is not helpful, is blocking us or holding us back. It’s useful to explore the pros too. Maybe we think this is keeping us safe, preparing us for the worst. That’s useful to reflect on and disentangle from.

5. What’s the evidence that this thought is true?

Any evidence that it’s not true? Could you come up with a revised thought that does justice to the whole situation?