5 of the Best CBT Metaphors

Metaphors are widely used in psychotherapy. I used to think this was patronising. Can’t we just stick to the proper names for things?! I’m a convert. There’s a reason they’re used so widely in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I’ve learnt that like imagery, metaphors go beyond words and can capture a sense of something.

Thinking about our situation metaphorically can allow us to depersonalise and approach the situation without our trademark layer of judgement is (shhhh inner critic.) It’s easier to see a way through or to bear things if you’re not also being shouted at by yourself. These are the five that I enjoy the most personally, and in my work with patients.

1. Not my train

A helpful metaphor for thoughts. Imagine yourself on a train platform, trains passing through from both directions intermittently. The trains are our thoughts; we can take a passive stance and let them pass. Even if there’s resonance in the body as they rumble by, or an urge to hop on board or to block it, and try to stop it coming through the station. You know this isn’t wise or necessary. We all board by mistake sometimes, and can hop off cheerfully ‘not my train’ and return to observing the passing trains (thoughts!)

2. The House

Humans have a painful and sophisticated tendency to compare themselves to others and feel awful. Imagine for a moment that you are a house. You have a luxurious reception room which you keep as nice as you can and are happy to invite visitors into. You also have a kitchen which is steamy and gets messy, you’re a bit more selective about who’s invited in. Your family and friends are almost always allowed. Then there’s a dark dingy slimy operational room where you keep your half finished DIY, laundry, and pots of paint etc. You might not even want to take your closest friends in there. Maybe on a day when you are feeling robust. When we’re comparing ourselves to others is there a chance we’re comparing our operations room with their reception? That was rhetorical. I can tell you from the front line (and personally of course) this this is very common, even rife.

3. Beach Ball

Imagine your emotions are a beach ball which you’re trying hard to keep under control, using lots of energy and control to hold it down under water. You’re missing out on opportunities for fun and relaxation in the pool and the ball will probably pop up and slap us in the face a few times anyway. If we could allow the ball to be there and bob around us, we would still have some feelings we would not have chosen but we have a chance of enjoying being in the pool. Our emotions are all normal even if we’re not so keen on some of them. Allowing them to be there paradoxically takes less effort than suppressing them. We have a chance to refocus, broaden out, make space for some joy, pleasure and rest.

4. Push starting a car

The perfect metaphor for getting started, getting back to exercise, approaching a new routine, getting off the sofa in the third trimester. No we shouldn’t give up because it feels hard (but don’t ignore pain), yes it will be worth it. Could we try for five minutes and see how it feels? We will have natural momentum in no time.

5. Oxygen mask

The airline safety people are right; we do need to put our own oxygen masks on first before we can attend to others. Pausing every now and again and asking– what do I need? Cantering for a moment and thinking about how others can help, or how you can best pace and resource yourself – is a useful practice and certainly not something to feel guilty about.